Sunday, July 5, 2015

Learning to Walk Again

If you follow me on Facebook and/or Instagram you probably saw Tim & I attended the 20th anniversary Foo Fighters concert in D.C. this weekend. I have always connected strongly to the Foo Fighters music, but this concert was absolutely fucking amazing. I apologize for my potty mouth, but there’s really no other fucking way to talk about rock and roll.

Dave Grohl at the Foo Fighters 20th Anniversary July 4th Festival. The broken leg tour. Absolutely amazing.

Without music, our lives would surely be very dull. Music is there to get us dancing, to help us fall in love, or get us through hard times. The Foo Fighters music is music I have connected with very strongly, especially during some of the more difficult points of my life. In honor of the Foo Fighters and an amazing weekend, I want to reflect on a few of the Foo Fighters songs that really speak to me, get me dancing, and make me want to scream the lyrics at the top of my lungs.

The Best of You

Let me say very bluntly, the majority of my life I have let people get the best of me. I let people that I thought were friends and/or family constantly push me down and make me feel like I was not worthy of happiness. The song Best of You by Foo Fighters is one of my absolute favorite songs, ever. The lyrics speak to me on so many deep levels I cannot even put it into words. These words in particular hit me like a lighting bolt into my soul:

Has someone taken your faith?
It’s real, the pain you feel
The life, the love
You die to heal
The hope that starts
The broken hearts
You trust, you must confess
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?

It’s extremely difficult to break away from negative people. They’re kind of like a vicious cancer that just spreads into our lives. It’s damn near impossible to be happy when your life consists of these people, especially if they’re a close friend or family member. Their negative attitudes and comments towards you have such a strong impact on your own attitude and self worth. These people get the best of us. I know this feeling all to well.


The song Walk by Foo Fighters reminds me of my journey since January 2015. Before then, I was in a bad place in my life. I had a list of health problems and felt absolutely terrible on the inside and out due to the choices I made that damaged my body tremendously. I let the people who got the best of me take control of my own self worth. My heart ached everyday. I let the people who hurt me get the best of me, and I lost control of myself.

To whom it may concern
I think I lost my way
Getting good at starting over
Everytime that I return

I’m learning to walk again
I believe I waited long enough
Where do I begin?
I’m learning to talk again
Can’t you see I’ve waited long enough?
Where do I begin?

Every line above is a complete reflection of how I felt in January. At the time, I really felt like no body cared about me. The problem was, I never told anyone how badly I was hurting. I kept everything a secret for many years. I had also tried “starting over” with losing weight countless times and failed.

In many ways which I won’t get into here, I feel like I’ve been fighting for happiness my entire life. The things I had been through made me think “why me?” for many years. It took me a long time to realize I could either let the bad things control me, or push through them to better myself. In January, I decided I waited long enough to take control of my life. I learned to TALK to people close to me, mainly my husband.

Times Like These

This is a very popular Foo Fighters song I think most people love, and if you don’t then get off my blog. I’m kidding. But this song definitely serves as a way for us all to reflect on our lives.

Typically we always seem more obligated to live, give, and love more during times of sorrow. A death of a loved one is great example. You want to live your life to it’s fullest potential, you want to give to others, and you pay more attention to those you love.

I’ve been trying to live my life more like this on a day to day basis. Living, giving, loving. What better way to live your life?

It’s times like these you learn to live again
It’s times like these you give and give again
It’s time’s like these you learn to love again
It’s time’s like these time and time again

After Dave sang this at the concert Saturday, he gave a little speech about the meaning of the song but the words he said that stuck out to me most were: It could ALWAYS be worse.

I challenge you all to live your life according to those words- for a day, for a week, for a month, FOREVER. Always remember, no matter how bad you think you’re life is or how shitty a situation is, there is ALWAYS someone out there who is going through something much worse.

I love music. I love how it speaks to me. I love how it makes me feel less alone and more understood. This weekend was one of the most fun memories I have in my life to date, and I got to share it with the human I love the most. I woke up this morning feeling so incredibly sore from dancing my ass off, jumping, and having an amazing time. I also woke up feeling so happy, so alive, and so ready to keep walking, talking, living, giving, and loving.

In Health & Happiness,

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